If You Ever Need Me, You Know Where to Find Me…

I have been dating my boyfriend for about  year and three months. He is a wonderful person. He tells me I’m beautiful, which I don’t hear very often. He would go out of his way to make me smile. We hardly ever fought, until I left for Purdue. He is still a senior back home.

We have recently been fighting more often then not. Over stupid little things, that eventually get blown out if proportion. Our last one got bad. I had told him I was having a really, really bad day, and he proceeded to say “Sorry” and then move on. I admitted to him the next day that I was a little hurt he hadn’t even tried to make me smile. He then yelled at me, saying I never treat him right and basically made me sound like this terrible person. This is not something you want to hear when you are already having a terrible week. I told him to leave me alone for a bit… because I couldn’t talk to him without getting upset. This wouldn’t have been to big of a problem, but this is not the first time he has blown up like that on me.

It’s hard for a girl who wears her feelings on her sleeve to forgive easily after being yelled at like that. So after a day or two of not talking, I decided that it would be best for us to go on a break. I need time to sort my feelings out, and time to forgive him for hurting me. Again.

I really do love this kid. I just question our future together so much. We are growing up separately, and it had effected us both.Whether or not we work this out, he’s going to make some girl very happy in his future. I just wish he knew how bad this hurts me, too.

He once told me that no matter what, he would always be around as a friend. That’s the one thing I regret losing right now: my best friend. He played me this song, and I hope he knows that I feel the same way towards him…

I know no one will really be concerned with this… I just had to say how I feel.

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~ by Hannah on February 12, 2011.

6 Responses to “If You Ever Need Me, You Know Where to Find Me…”

  1. I love you. You know that. Jake and I did the exact same thing, seriously everything happened in a matter of a few days. It was awful. We are still together, but I feel like something just isnt right anymore. Maybe it is just me being me, afraid and scared of the future, and getting hurt. Im not sure, but im hoping it will play out.

    If you need to talk. Text or call me. I will be happy to listen to you ramble 🙂

  2. Yeah, that’s how it is with me. Just, me being scared that I’m going to hurt him if I find out my future husband is actually walking around my campus right now (and preferably tall and plays basketball….you know 😉 haha]. But we worked it out… and I got beautiful flowers today. So we’ll see.

    But thank you, girl. Right back at you. =]

  3. i got nada for v-day. not even an ‘i love you’….fml.

  4. Awww…. girl… =[

  5. Girl, I know I’m late seeing this post.. but always keep your head up and smile. You’re an amazing person and if you ever need anything I’m here too.

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